this week wasn't bad at all. save for the not-so-great class yesterday, this week was actually quite relaxed and laid-back. after yet again another depressing class day yesterday, i went with some of my blockmates to eastwood. we were supposed to watch borat but since it was no longer showing, they just watched me eat dinner and then we hung out in the arcade and played some "violent" games and videoked for a bit. i had to leave early and head back to katipunan for a (very long) meeting but at least i was able to de-stress for a couple of hours.

and then today. today was utterly blissful. why? simply because i was able to catch up on much needed sleep. plus i was able to catch up on episodes of grey's anatomy, boston legal and how i met your mother. plus i was able to read some of the books gathering dust by my bed (david sedaris and nick hornby rock!).

pure bliss, i tell you. now if only i didn't ever have to venture out into the real world ever again. haha. :)

nope, i certainly do NOT have a death wish. it's just that today was so happy such that if i could choose a perfect day to die, it would've been today (after all the events, of course). especially given the past couple of weeks, i felt that today i was granted momentary reprieve.

i started the day all sick and stressed out given that i had some meetings and other extra-curricular stuff to attend to PLUS we were supposed to have two classes today. while i was on my way to school, one of our profs sent me a text message saying that we wouldn't have class today. i was happy because that meant more cram study time for me. then we found out that we ALSO didn't have that class today. i wouldn't be surprised if the people in the other side of campus heard my block screaming our lungs out. i didn't care that i was all sore throat-y and feverish. i was beyond ecstatic.

then some of my blockmates and i headed off to the block in sm north. twas my first time there. tis pretty decent actually. we even had a studio pic (hehehe... how high schoolish can we get?) then grabbed a bite. i had to rush back to school for a meeting but i didn't mind much because i was all giddy and happy albeit sick. to top it all off i saw my two crushes today. woohoo.

life is good. for today at least. :)

i'm getting worried. when i first started law school, i prayed and asked for a sign. in all fairness, after the evil adjustment period, i started to enjoy law school. not enjoy the law school student experience per sé but rather the company of my blockmates, the different orgs and their activities and so on. before the second sem began, i prayed once again for a sign that i'm meant to stay in law. i told myself all i'd do is study (yeah, right). i figured in the course of my studies, i'd actually love the study of law for what it is.

but now, it seems that in lieu of signs that i'm meant to stay and continue my study of law, i'm getting the exact opposite. signs that i'm meant to leave malcolm hall and quit studying law in the so-called "grand manner." it doesn't help that i keep making stupid mistakes (like not listening..haha) in class and all that jazz. things just don't feel right. plus i'm beginning to question what i am meant to do.

or maybe i'm just tired. 100+ cases in the span of less than a week would do that to you, i guess.

can't wait til christmas break... malapit na.

i've been to two surprise parties in the span of a week. two saturdays ago, i went to the surprise party of my friend and former council-mate Kakay. twas really fun because not only was the food good but it was also a mini CSSP Student Council 2005-2006 reunion of sorts (sans 9 other people). We just caught up on each others lives while pigging out. Those were the days. I really miss our council from last year. I guess if you spend as much time with them as i did, you'd develop some sort of attachment as well.

twas my blockmate mitch's party last thursday. although there was a theme, i didn't end up dressing up because i didn't have the confidence to wear my so-called "costume" plus i had to leave early (sorry, mitch!). we had to pay for it though... those of us who were pasaway enough NOT to wear a costume had to (horror or horrors!) dance. twas fun to just kick back, relax, and see some of my blockmates dressed up, though.

yesterday, we had a surprise despedida for sir atoy here at home. it was the culmination of weeks of planning or rather, finding an excuse to hang out in starbuck to meet so we could all reach our respective 21-sticker quota in order to qualify for the starbucks planner (what a pretty thing!). it was, if i may say so myself, a success. although not everyone was able to make it, there was quite a good showing. got to catch-up with friends whom i haven't really seen/spoken with in a long time. there was an abundance of food (yummy!) PLUS my all-time favorite: videoke! the event was dampened by the fact that i had to read 49 cases for monday but even that didn't prevent me from singing (kawawa our neighbors..hehe). in fact, we were singing til 6AM this morning.

needless to say, i slept the whole day (practically) setting me back a few precious hours for reading cases. i tried to get some studying in this afternoon then heard mass with my family. after mass, we went for dinner in this fine dining-esque place in horseshoe village called Lemuria. It reminds me of another place called Lolo Dad's in Manila. I had foie gras (yummy but deadly) for appetizer, lamb for my main course and carabao milk pannacota for dessert. the food was pretty good though admittedly, i've tasted better foie gras (it seemed to be lacking some oomph) and tastier lamb. the pannacotta was really good though. as was the walnut bread and foccaccia (correct spelling?). my family spent a couple of hours having dinner for a change just enjoying the food and chatting (plus i got a little bit of studying in..hehe).

but now, it's back to reality. i promised myself in the beginning of this sem that i would study hard. so far, i'm not exactly making good on that promise. i do hope it's not too late to start.

today started out fine. had brunch with lynnie and father in teriyaki boy in katipunan and rushed to school for our consti class only to find out that we had a free cut (woohoo!).

unfortunately, things didn't turn out so well during our next class which is my fault. once again lack of foresight got the better of me (hayyy....). the whole afternoon i felt like a rain cloud was following me around (or rather, i was the rain cloud).

when i bumped into one of my favorite profs from undergrad (he was in law getting research material), i chatted with him for a bit and when he brought up my being a law student, i felt like crying. this was not the way i expected the second semester to start. i really need a sign that it's meant to be because if not, i'm wasting my time and effort (not to mention depriving myself of sleep), my parents' money and more importantly, the taxpayers' hard-earned money. mahiya naman ako if i don't do the best i can given that the Filipino taxpayer has invested in my torture education.

thank goodness nalang for chocolate. i was happy because sam, cez, and my mom gave me chocolate today. i'm a firm believer that chocolate can solve all (well, most maybe) problems. hehe.

i feel like crawling under my blanket and sleeping until christmas eve. i'm so tired. i humiliated myself. and my self-esteem level has reached an all-time low.

what a way to start the sem.

have a ton to read but also have a ton of extra-curricular things to plan/implement.

plus i humiliated myself during a debate today. while the incident strengthened my resolve to actually try to get some training in (question remains as to how and when), i couldn't help but feel that all-too-familiar shame and insecurity overwhelm me.

some of my blockmates are in zambales right now probably having a blast. i opted NOT to join them because i said i'd do something next week which i have to prepare for this weekend. something i'm not entirely qualified nor competent enough to do.

kamusta naman? i've realized that time and again i get myself into "hard to say NO to" situations. i mean, how hard is it to say a two-letter word? N-O. No. easy-peasy as pie. theoretically, that is.

my irritation at myself is further compounded with my inability to de-stress and rid myself of my fears and insecurities and my OC-ness. bad, bad combo i tell you.

i have got to learn to say that word. seriously.

on the bright side, been seeing a lot of my old friends (not in terms of age...hehe) lately and more than one have said that hiyang ako sa law. while i am flattered (hahaha...), i can't help wondering if what my younger brother told me before is true: that i can live on stress alone. bad sign. i want to live 'til i'm at least a hundred. the stress won't help me attain that goal.

i've been trying to be less stressed and pasaway though. i've been praying for the grace to attain the virtues of fortitude and patience, most especially. it is hard but i promised myself i would at least try. that and focus on the positive and leave out the negative.

since i already ranted re: the negative, time for the positive. hehe. despite the stress which is unnatural for the first day of class, i was so SO happy these past few days. let's just say as gab said, it's like i'm in high school again. but wait, i come from an all-girls's school so it's not quite the same. but it's that same giddy feeling. 'nuff said. :)

the second semester is beginning tomorrow. at least i can say i've survived my first semester as a law student. lesson learned, though. i'm really going to take my studies seriously next semester.

it's not that i don't. it's more of, i'm the queen of inconsistency and pasaway-ness. i spent practically the entire day mentally kicking myself because of my alternating (and sometimes concurrent) stupidity and laziness. truth be told, i can be pretty OC when it comes to studying. the down side is that i'm inconsistent. i can be really masipag during the first few weeks of the semester then semester progresses, i just get plain lazy. this laziness reaches its peak come finals season given that classes have come to an end and in lieu of seriously studying, i end up doing everything BUT... watching episode after episode or movie after movie, shopping, surfing the net, reading, you name it. i couldn't help but think that if i actually spent the time to study for that exam, i could've gotten a more decent grade. and i hate that i have no one to blame but myself.

i tried to justify it. i'm applying to two orgs. busy with another. trying to adjust. trying to decide whether or not law is for me. but deep down, i know that the afore-enumerated are no excuse. i'm just plain lazy and stupid.

but i have to let go of that and everything self-deprecatory. i have to look ahead instead of dwelling on my stupidity and (past..haha) laziness. i'm really going to take my studies seriously this entire sem. not just during the first month, but throughout.

or die trying. hahaha.

here's to the second semester of the tunnel otherwise known as law school.
(whether there is light at the end or not is for me to find out...gosh, this sounds depressing)

*in no particular order...

6 things that scare you:


1. rats, mice and other creepy crawlies
2. frogs
3. the future
4. recit (the horrors! hahaha)
5. waking up one morning and realizing i haven't accomplished anything
6. failure (and success)

6 things you like the most:

1. FOOD!
2. shoes
3. coffee (i'm a coffeeholic, unfortunately... though i only like coffee that doesn't taste like coffee...hehe)
4. days when i don't have to do anything
5. books!
6. family and friends

6 important things in your bedroom:

1. GREF and other stuffed toys
2. books!
3. rosary
4. laptop
5. bed
6. air purifier


Six random facts about you:

1. I shampoo my eyelashes with baby shampoo to prevent infection
2. I think i have the peter pan syndrome
3. I love to eat
4. I love videoke
5. I love stuffed animals
6. I don't know how to ride a bike


Six things you plan to do before you die:

1. Visit the Angkor Wat, Botswana, Turkey, Greece, the big world out there! :)
2. Go on a cruise
3. Make a difference, change the world :)
4. Donate blood
5. Learn to cook like a normal human being
6. Reform the electoral system (hehe, tall order)

Six things you can do:

1. Win a food eating contest..hehe
2. Laugh easily
3. Enjoy spending time alone (aka hermit mode)
4. Read or watch episodes the ENTIRE night (and day!)
5. Imagine the absurdest of things
6. Surf the net for hours

Six things you can’t do: (right now)

1. Ride a bike
2. Get smaller/thinner (sniff)
3. Dance (hahahaha)
4. Draw like a normal human being
5. Sing like a normal human being
6. Curse (basta, long story... things aren't so bad naman)

Six things that attract you to the opposite sex:

1. Height
2. Intelligence
3. Cuteness/lost-ness (basta..hehehe)
4. Kindess
5. Food! hahaha
6. something else....


Six things you say the most or are known for saying:

1. Kamusta naman?!
2. Guys, excuse me (hehehe)
3. That person/frog!
4. Whatever!
5. I feel like killing myself! (don't worry, i'm NOT suicidal)
6. Yay!

in a few days, the second semester will begin. and to think i was just beginning to enjoy my sem break. *sniff*
on the bright side, christmas is less than two months away. woohoo! can't wait for that. been anticipating christmas since end of september/early october. keep listening to my chrismas playlist on my ipod, reading old books with christmas settings, and thinking of christmas-y movies and tv shows to watch (so much for being an utter and complete nerd when the second sem starts.haha!). it is kind of hard to enjoy the christmas-y feeling when you think of those who are unable to enjoy it in the same way you do because of financial and other constraints. it makes me want to do something to help. thing is i don't know what. and i learned long ago that no matter what you do you can't help everyone. haaayyy... :(

grabe, there's something wrong with me. i've been craving chocolate lately. i've been dreaming of snickers bars and decadence chocolate cakes (the ones from goodies 'n' sweets is the best!). and when i actually get to indulge, i crave even more chocolate. this is bad. my blood sugar level is probably off the charts.

my family went all the way to kusina salud in sta. cruz, san pablo city today for lunch. they had this spanish lauriat(correct spelling?)-style buffet special today. food was pretty decent but not too spanish-y. oh well, food is food as i always say (but frogs's legs and other too-exotic delicacies do not fall under my "food is food therefore i will eat it" category.hehe).

learned something new today: morbide is the italian word for soft. i can only imagine what kind of faux pas(es?) occur when there is an extremely literal translation from italian to english. hahaha.

saddam hussein et al were sentenced to death via hanging for crimes against humanity. although i was NOT a fan of his authoritarian regime in iraq, i am weary of the tribunal's ruling, or rather, the sentence meted out. the death penalty per sé is generally frowned upon by the international community and death by hanging is not exactly the most humane means of carrying out such penalty. in other words, the aforementioned and other procedural inconsistencies may signify that the trial that occured was not up to par with international humanitarian standards.

grabe, sinulit ko talaga ang sem break. after i got back from tagaytay with my blockmates, i headed up to baguio with some friends (richel, mica, lady, tricia, and gian). it was so much fun! we spent a lot of time doing my favorite activity (i.e., EATING!hehe) plus shopping and just plain sight-seeing. we went to pretty much the same places i visited with tina, tash, jem and deo when we went to baguio last april such as oh my gulay, veniz grille (eat-all-you-can mongolian! yummy!), volante, etc. but despite the familiarity of these places, i had a wonderful time creating new memories with them (naks! how cheesy! hehehe... but true). we were able to rent a nice little house with a loft near burnham park. not that we spent a whole lot of time in it as we kept going out but nonetheless it was really nice and cozy. and it did keep us sheltered when supertyphoon paeng hit (hahaha, talk about timing). thankfully, nothing bad happened to us during the storm and we were able to arrive safely in manila. i was also able to meet up with emil and gab, two of my blockmates albeit for a short while only.

hung out with christa in podium yesterday afternoon. was fun to just hang out and eat (hahaha, what else is new?). fun reliving high school and undergrad days. :)

in honor of halloween, yesterday evening, i hung out with my blockmates leo, jv, patty, and mitch in rockwell. we were supposed to have a horror movie marathon but we just ended up watching the village (not too horror-ish but quite interesting despite the few high-stress moments) and videos leo took during some block events, i.e., carmi and kathy's birthday dinner at dencio's, tagaytay, and an inuman session. i can't believe only a semester has passed but as early as now, we have so much fun block memories. here's to more memories to come! :)

in around a week, the break ends and the second semester begins. back to all the stress and haggardness. but to a certain (but weird) degree, i still feel that back-to-school excited feeling i usually get when the semester is about to start. not to mention the fact that my favorite time of the academic year is that period between sem break and christmas break. i hope it won't be too hectic this year.

but enough about that. for now, i'm enjoying being in buhay baboy mode. hahaha! :)

first year law student.kid at heart.idealist.optimist (except about myself).hopeless romantic.daydream believer.dreamer.klutz(hehe).


lay-out
{designer}
{font}



{AKBAYAN Rep. Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel}
{UP ALYANSA}
{spam}
{tricia}
{kristian}
{mica-rabbit}
{jeboy}
{emma}
{paolo}
{lia}
{ralph}
{cheska}
{mara}
{leo}
{marian}
{kevin}
{gwen}
{mark arthur}
{darwin}
{dianne}
{jam}
{cha}
{boom}
{salma}
{emil}



"I don't care if I never grow up
Don't want to shrink in a suit
Don't want live just to suck someones bones dry
I'd rather die."
- Chris Trapper, Waiting Watching Wishing

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