the only thing keeping me going right now is the comforting thought that in two months time, i will be blissfully enjoying my summer vacation.

but before that happens i have to:
1. pass all my classes (or die trying)
2. help out with alyansa's electoral campaign (goodbye, sleep...)
3. finish my org responsibilities
4. finalize plans for bora with the duck squad
5. remember NOT to kill myself in the process of doing the aforementioned.

i feel as though i've reverted back to headless chicken mode. i'm used to it but it's not a very happy feeling (since when did headless chickens feel happy anyway? haha). but seriously. i feel as though i have to be at a zillion places at the same time this coming month. and unfortunately for me, it's all self-inflicted. once again yours truly has managed to get herself involved in a zillion activities because she has yet to learn to decline due to time constraints.

to top things off, i've just realized that i am probably the most makapal person i know. not a good thing to discover. puts me at par with "beamie." eww. :(

and i think i'm reverting back to my accident-prone childhood phase. i've always been a super-klutz but my klutziness has reached all-time highs lately. a few weeks ago, i tripped in front of what seemed to be the whole world. everything hit the ground except my face and my knees were literally black for a week. plus i keep on stretching my muscles at the oddest and most painful places. and bruises and cuts seem to be sprouting out like mushrooms. in class today, one of my profs asked me why i had a band-aid on my knuckles. i figured that it was due to yesterday's muay thai session but i didn't want to admit that i wasn't sure where it came from, that i probably banged into something and scraped myself in the process. all that and the fact that i keep tripping and hitting stuff and dropping things. what i would do for some gracefulness and poise. haha. wishful thinking.

and one more thing, i saw ____ ______'s pictures lying around the long table yesterday. i know i promised myself that i would no longer think that he was haunting me (albeit figuratively, NOT literally) but i couldn't help but wonder whether or not it was a sign. but then if it were a sign it could signify two things, i.e., that 1)law school is NOT for me and asa pa ako that i'll ever be like him and i might as well stop while i can lest i bring shame down upon the family or 2)i should keep going on and aspire (aspire lang naman eh...)to be as great as he was. sigh. i'm at a loss. i know i gave myself til the end of this semester to decide but more than half of it has passed and i'm still flip-flopping. decisions, decisions. times like these, i'd kill to just be able to snuggle under my covers and sleep (and read!) while the world passes me by. wishful thinking yet again.

and although i feel the usual excitement-slash-apprehension building up, i also feel extremely disillusioned.

i feel as though lately i've been questioning everything. but that's only because i have my reservations about certain things. but nevertheless, i feel like the perennial doubting thomas.

haaayyy...

first year law student.kid at heart.idealist.optimist (except about myself).hopeless romantic.daydream believer.dreamer.klutz(hehe).


lay-out
{designer}
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{AKBAYAN Rep. Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel}
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"I don't care if I never grow up
Don't want to shrink in a suit
Don't want live just to suck someones bones dry
I'd rather die."
- Chris Trapper, Waiting Watching Wishing

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