my mom and older sister, camille left this morning for italy. ham is going to take her masters (in some mouthful of a course hehe) there and my mom's going to help her settle in then head for the states. while i'm happy for hammy (started callling her ham and spam a few years back, it stuck.. hehehe!), i can't help but feel a little sad. i felt the same way when my two elder siblings carisa and jodie left to take their masters when i was in high school. while i knew that they were moving on to something bigger and better, i felt sad because in a sense, my (immediate) family got depleted. for the longest time i was used to there being seven of us (parents + 5 kids). while i'd complain every now and then about the "big-ness" of my family, i actually liked it. most of the time, that is (hehe). it meant more chances to celebrate special events, not being noticed unless i did something really, really bad, a tripled (or sometimes quadrupled, with mom's) closet, different kinds of books and music to borrow, and the list goes on. despite the age gap among the five of us, our personality differences, and the fact that when we fight it's like there's a world war (hehe..peace!), we've always managed to get along. even now, when we see each other during vacations, it's as though we haven't been apart all these years. i find that there's this inexplicable sense of comfort and security that attaches to being part of a big family. i guess that's why i like tv shows like seventh heaven and brothers and sisters. while my family is not as dysfunctional nor as drama-intensive, i've always felt this sense of understanding and even affinity towards those similarly cursed situated.

now that ham's away to study, there's only four of us (actually, three until mom gets back). i can't help but already feel that things are going to be lonely and quieter around here, at least for the next year or so. on the bright side, it means i get a "new" dumping site room and more clothes, bags, and shoes (hehehe! peace, ham!). hopefully we'll get to visit her next year. :)

haaayyy... suddenly, i ALMOST feel like an only child... :(

first year law student.kid at heart.idealist.optimist (except about myself).hopeless romantic.daydream believer.dreamer.klutz(hehe).


lay-out
{designer}
{font}



{AKBAYAN Rep. Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel}
{UP ALYANSA}
{spam}
{tricia}
{kristian}
{mica-rabbit}
{jeboy}
{emma}
{paolo}
{lia}
{ralph}
{cheska}
{mara}
{leo}
{marian}
{kevin}
{gwen}
{mark arthur}
{darwin}
{dianne}
{jam}
{cha}
{boom}
{salma}
{emil}



"I don't care if I never grow up
Don't want to shrink in a suit
Don't want live just to suck someones bones dry
I'd rather die."
- Chris Trapper, Waiting Watching Wishing

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