only half the year has gone by and already, i've done some things i've never done before such as:

1. ask a guy on a date (well, just to be my date to the winlaw ball lang naman so no biggie but then this is the girl who got asked to her own prom.)
2. voluntarily go to the beach not even once but TWICE *gasp*
3. get a job (well, actually tis an internship but then work is work)
4. yell at someone in public (just today, definitely NOT my finest moment. i cannot believe i snapped like that. in my defense i was provoked but still, i still had no excuse to act that way)
5. cry in front of a professor (happened today, too. i wanted the ground to open up and swallow me alive or at least die of total and utter mortification)
6. get a 4.0 in a subject (i'm actually SOMEWHAT over it. such is life i guess though it also doesn't diminish the self-loathing. haha)

other bad stuff that happened today:
- i fell down the stairs while leaving yellow cab along katipunan for the whole katipunan passer-by to see
- my really nice scented cologne bottle broke inside my bag thereby soaking my jeans and bag. on a more positive side, at least my jeans and bag smell really good

and to compound things, i've had this headache for an entire week that won't seem to go away, i'm quickly gaining stress-induced pounds (four slices of pizza, anyone?), and i'm an over-all emotional wreck. in my defense, i really want things to be ok with my block so i am doing everything i can. unfortunately, tis just not good enough. it also doesn't help that i actually have no idea what to do and i feel like a big, fat (both literally and figuratively) failure. it also doesn't help when you feel guilty for something you did NOT even do and the reason you feel guilty is that you were actually once in a similar situation and you felt terrible when you were in that person's place.

i want to sleep. and just wake up when the nightmare is over. i emanate stress and sadness which is hazardous to myself and those around me.

Labels: law, life

first year law student.kid at heart.idealist.optimist (except about myself).hopeless romantic.daydream believer.dreamer.klutz(hehe).


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"I don't care if I never grow up
Don't want to shrink in a suit
Don't want live just to suck someones bones dry
I'd rather die."
- Chris Trapper, Waiting Watching Wishing

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