{waiting watching wishing}
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
{yet another survey}

from joseph's blog

100 Truths...
1. real name - alessandra maria anna gloria o. reyes (note the acronym of my name:AMAG. what were my parents thinking?! hehe)
2. like it - i'm now ambivalent. i used to hate it.
3. single or Taken: single
4. Zodiac Sign - taurus
5. male or female - female
6. elementary- poveda
7. middle- n/a
8. high school- poveda
9. college- up diliman
10. hair color - dark brown
11. eye color - brown (sometimes turns red in pictures. i look like i have evil eyes. or rabbit eyes. hehe)
12. hair length- kind of long. i'm way overdue for a haircut
13. current worry- don't get me started... :s
14. race- filipino
15. are you a health freak - not really
16. body type- gee, i don't know. tall and big-boned?
17. do you have a crush on someone - hehehehehe! ako pa :D
18. do you like yourself - i won't answer this now. :s
19. piercings - yup, on my earlobes
20. tattoos - nope
21. righty or lefty - righty

FIRSTS-
22. first surgery- wala pa naman yata
23. first piercings - earlobes
24. first best friend - sheree
25. first award- don't remember
26. first sport- kickball (?)
27. first pet - lisa the lobster (who died after two weeks. i'm bad with pets)
28. first vacation - can't remember
29. first teacher - don't remember
30. first crush - i'd rather not say though i remember his name. hehehehe :D

THIS OR THAT-
31. orange or apple juice - orange
32. rock or rap - rock
33.country or scremo - country
34. Nsync or Backsteet boys - backstreet boys!!!
35. britney spears or christina - christina
36. night or day - night
37. sun or moon- moon
38. tv or internet - internet
39. boys or girls - boys!!! hahaha. it actually depends. most of my closest friends are girls
40. kiss or hug - hug
41. iguana or turtle - turtle
42. spider or bee - neither
43. fall or spring - spring!
44. limewire or itunes - itunes!
45. msn or aim - neither
46. soccer or baseball - neither
47. cheerleading or dance team - neither
48. laugh or cry - laugh of course!

CURRENTLY-
49. eating - pistachio nuts (yummy!)
50. drinking - nothing
51. im about to - fix the barops manual
52. listening to - swing out sister
53. singing - nothing
54. typing - this

FUTURE-
55. want kids- possibly
56. when - in the future
57. want to get married - most probably
58. when - when the time is right hehe
59. where do you wna live - anywhere. as long as we're happy together (naks! hehe)
60. how many kids - one or two
61. any names in mind- none
62. what did you wanna be when you werelittle - a doctor
63. what did you think you'd really be doing - taking up medicine. haha
64. mellow future or wild - mellow (i'm boring, sue me)
65. something you wanna do before you die- visit Angkor Wat (i promised myself i cannot die unless i've been there)
66. something you would never try - eating frogs among others
67. when do you wanna die - when i'm really old and too senile to know i'm dying

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX -
68. lips or eyes - eyes
69. hugging or kissing - i'll get back to you on that
70. shorter or taller - taller, siempre!
71. tan skinned or light - doesn't matter
72. romantic or spontaneous - romantic. or spontaneous. hehe
73. dark or light hair - dark
74. muscular or normal - hrm....
75. hook-up or relationship - relationship
76. similar to you or different - depends

HAVE YOU EVER-
78. kissed a stranger - nope
79. drank bubbles - nope
80. broken a bone - nope
81. climbed up a tree - yup
82. broken someones heart- hope not. haha
83. turned someone down - yup
84. had your heart broken - nope
85. liked a friend as more than a friend- hrm... :s

DO YOU BELIEVE IN-
86. yourself - sometimes, not lately
87. miracles - yup
88. love at first sight- yup
89. Santa Claus - used to
90. Kissing on the first date - hrm.. i'll cross the bridge when i get there

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY-
92. Is there 1 or more people you want to be with right now - hrm....
93. who is it - secret :D
94. like someone - yup

LASTS-
95. Text message - barops human resources team
96. Received call - lynnie
97. Call made - gab
98. Message on friendster - can't remember
99. Missed Call - gab
100. Person you hung out with - lynnie, christine and "father"

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Posted by arianne at 12:12 AM

Saturday, August 18, 2007
{rainy day(s) ramblings}

the one good thing about still being a student is the fact that you still get to enjoy the luxury of no-school days. i think that's the one thing i have over my working friends. while rain or shine they still have to trudge to work daily, i still get to occasionally sleep in and listen to the soothing pitter-patter of the rain (or rather, storm/typhoon/what-not) with enrique iglesias in the background (sigh... whattacombination. hehehe!).

i love it when the weather is like this because aside from the successive class suspensions (woohoo!), i have a very legitimate excuse to turn hermit and hide from the rest of the world and pretend i don't have a single care in the world. it's also a far cry from the past months's humidity and my waking up in the morning wanting to kill myself because i couldn't breathe (such fact being an indicator that it is going to rain within the day. a hot and humid kind of rain) this kind of rain is relaxing, cleansing even.

of course, i can't help but feel guilty. because while i'm at home resting and actually enjoying the rains, i know many are suffering what with the torrential downfalls, floods, and the like. maybe what my labor professor has been accusing me of is true, maybe i really do have a bleeding heart. sometimes, i think, it's much easier to pretend that the world revolves around you. at least that way, you don't feel bad/guilty everytime you step out your front door.

*~*



this morning, i attended the blessing of ann's (my highschool kabarkada) tutorial center in commonwealth. i think i enjoyed the korean beef and pastries a tad bit too much. hehehe. it's a really nice, bright, happy place. if i were a grade school/high school student in need of tutorials i would definitely go there. in fact, i think i will visit it during my free time and devour the books in the mini-library (hehe. joke lang, ann!).

i realized that we really have gone a long way since high school. well, they have at least. i'm still a dependent student. hahaha. but, seriously. i remember being in high school and not having a single care in the world except, well, school, family, and friends. and in retrospect, school was quite fun and not so stressful (at least compared to law school). the beauty of personalized education and all that jazz. haha. in high school, the world seemed to be ours for the taking. then college came and went and now all my friends are working, starting their own businesses. next thing i know we'll be attending weddings (hrm, kanino kaya? hahahaha!), having those weekly lunches old ladies have (peace, mom! haha), and starting new lives independent from the ones we have now. things seem to move so quickly sometimes. sometimes i just want to be able to grasp time in my hands and prevent it from moving so fast.

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Posted by arianne at 7:26 PM

Monday, August 13, 2007
{fury}

in january of last year, i bought salman rushdie's book fury. over the summer (of 2006) i attempted to read it, but barely reached the second chapter as i felt that it was too heavy and dark a summer read (unlike rushdie's haroun and the sea of stories which i "gobbled up" in a few hours). sarah nelson, in her book so many books, so little time, wrote that sometimes you don't choose the book, but rather the book chooses you. the other day as i was going thru my clutter stuff, i came across the book and the title caught my eye. for some reason felt an odd instant affinity towards it (if one can feel affinity towards books), it was as though it had chosen me. i then began to read it.

and at this point in time, i think fury is the book most apposite to my situation.

i haven't finished it yet (gasp) but professor malik solanka's exploration of personal demons (AKA furies) in post 9-11 new york city both intriguing and appalling. rushdie wrote the book in such a way as to depict NYC as a city in the brink of unleashing fury in a large-scale with its inhabitants being consumed by their own personal furies (excessive alcoholism and the like). in a sense, NYC in solanka's world is a MACROcosm of all the darkness, confusion, and, well, fury within ready to explode at a drop of a pin (or at the crashing of planes, it seems). [obiter: i recommend this book, though not if you're looking for a light and fluffy, warm and fuzzy, bright and shiny read]

i seem to be living in my own solanka-esque world, ready to explode at any given moment. the past few months i've felt that i've been riding one big emotional rollercoaster. i've heretofore been a firm believer in nietzsche's "that which does not kill me makes me stronger" but somehow, while obviously the goings-on have failed to kill me (sayang! haha, joke lang. i REALLY am not suicidal nor do i have a death wish), i am highly doubtful that the EXPERIENCE or rather, aggregate experiences have strengthened me in any which way. instead of believing a light at the end of the proverbial tunnel is inevitable, i find myself growing more pessimistic as the days go by and even resigning myself to a lifetime of mediocrity, if not failure. AND I LOATHE, HATE, DESPISE FEELING THIS WAY.

i find myself alternating between giddiness, depression, self-loathing, depression, normalcy, and even more depression. i've been inexplicably angry and depressed lately. it doesn't help that my academic performance is, as per usual, sub-par, my sleep patterns (as well as eating patterns) have gone haywire, and when i wake up in the morning, the world in general somehow doesn't seem to be a very nice place to live in. it's not that i'm angry at the world or anything of that sort. i've realized that more than anything, i'm angry at, well, me.

case in point, despite my propensity towards lazy piggishness, i actually do study. but somehow i've managed to blunder recit after recit, quiz after quiz, test after test. it doesn't held that it seems that the universe has conspired to make me fail no matter what (forgive the excessive pessimism, i'm actually just waxing poetic or being overly dramatic. i have a strong feeling it's the latter). take recits, for example. it seems to me that i ONLY get called for recit towards the end of the semester when the topics get more complex, if not complicated OR if i do get called beforehand, it's usually when the topic is relatively harder. i'm not blaming anyone but my bad luck given that recit cards are chosen at random but it does get frustrating and even depressing especially when you notice those around getting called on when the topic is easy and you could actually give a decent answer. same goes with quizzes and tests. i always study for them. i'm OC in that way but i always seem to miss a blatantly obvious and important point. something which i usually can answer post hoc but being the stupid girl that i am, failed to write WHILE taking the quiz. last saturday's torts midterms is a glaring example. i KNOW the answers. what's worse, while taking the exam i KNEW the answers but being myself, i wrote down something else. and that's 9 points subtracted just like that (not counting everything else i got wrong. haaayyyy) i like to look at all these as learning experiences from which i can grow but then this overwhelming nagging feelings keeps coming back and telling me that i'm setting myself up for even greater failure and disappointment. i mean if i ever do graduate, i can guarantee that i will study the best i can for the bar exams. but then even studying hard apparently doesn't amount to anything. :(

i'm not even grade-conscious in the "i compute my average" sense of the word. but sometimes, just sometimes i wish that the result would be commensurate to the work and effort put in. in my world, hard work always pays off. apparently in the real world, it doesn't.

i really hope to get rid of this fury, anger, resentment, and frustration soon. but sadly, even as regards my aforementioned hope, i'm pessimistic. haaayyy :(

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Posted by arianne at 10:19 PM

Monday, August 06, 2007
{books!!!}

when i was in grade school or high school i attempted to organize my books by creating a database with MS Access. my ultimate goal was to come up with a system wherein i could locate my books by typing the title or author and then the shelf wherein it is located would be displayed.

Unfortunately, the computer wherein my file was stored crashed and i, being the lazy person that i am, oh-so-conveniently forgot to make a back-up copy. i never quite got to reconstructing my book database the reasons being: 1. i'm a lazy pig, 2. i'm a slob and it's virtually impossible for me to come up with a relatively organized system, 3. i thought i could do it manually (i actually bought a book journal. it's essentially a journal that allows you to keep track of books borrowed/lent, favorite books and passages, books to read) but one year hence it's still practically empty.

luckily, i discovered a site that allows you to easily catalog your books online. it's pretty simple (for lazy people like yours truly) as it allows you to type the book title or its author and then a selection from amazon, loc, etc. comes out and you just click on the book you own. i have yet to make an comrehensive inventory of my books but this is a start. when i actually get to organizing them, i'll figure out a shelving system (in like, 500 years or so. hahaha).

this is my book catalog. it's incomplete as i'm too lazy to actually make a list but i've got to start somewhere, right? :) Next goal is to catalogue my brothers' book collections then on to my sisters' and parents'. good luck to me. our house is essentially one giant bookshelf pretending to be a house what with the endless clutter and books all over the place (we're a family of bookworms and packrats. to think i hate worms and rats. hahaha :s). give me the next century maybe by some miracle i'll actually accomplish that. oh well, wishful thinking. hehehe! :D

my next goal is to read at least one non-law book a week. i resolved to do so last weekend when i realized that i had bought 6 books in the span of 2 weeks. of those 6, i've only finished 2 (including harry potter 7!). that's a pretty bad record considering i have accumulated piles of books waiting to be read from college, possibly even high school which up to this point i haven't even started on. besides, i need some leisure reading. been feeling down and frankly even quite batty lately as i've been pretty engrossed in all things law school.

or better yet, maybe i should spend ALL my time studying, get high grades (yeah, right), become a lawyer, make tons of money, retire at, say, 30, and spend the rest of my life reading. hahaha. i wish.

unfortunately, i'm still iffy about the whole law school thing. the only thing i'm quite certain of is that if by some miracle i survive law school, the bar, and become a lawyer i don't think i'm going to get rich what with my lack of interest in the more-lucrative fields of law. so yeah, back to my one book a week goal.

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Posted by arianne at 11:03 PM

Saturday, July 28, 2007
{a future in sales}

went around law this afternoon trying to inveigle entice people to buy tickets for the winlaw cake raffle. one of my batchmates laughed when he saw me and commented that whenever he sees me, i'm selling something. and he's right because conversely, whenever i see him, i am selling something be it pastries, t-shirts and other up law merchandise, or raffle tickets. such thought makes me paranoid. does that mean whenever people see me they get the urge to run away because they think i'll try to sell them something or other?

i hope not. though it is a funny, if not depressing thought. haha.

i made a promise to myself that after this sem, no more selling for me since i don't think i'm very good at it PLUS there's the change that i'm beginning to be associated with forcing people into buying stuff. then i remembered something. i won't be able to fulfill my promise because next sem, we have the winlaw flower sale wich my batch is in charge of. i'm quite excited but apprehensive because i know it will entail a lot of work.

oh well. after all this, i hope people won't look at me as a walking, talking selling machine of sorts. haha :p

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Posted by arianne at 12:11 AM

Thursday, July 26, 2007
{blackle}

discovered a "new" site: blackle. it's essentially an all-black version of google.

according to the site, "Blackle saves energy because the screen is predominantly black. 'Image displayed is primarily a function of the user's color settings and desktop graphics, as well as the color and size of open application windows; a given monitor requires more power to display a white (or light) screen than a black (or dark) screen.' Roberson et al, 2002

In January 2007 a blog post titled Black Google Would Save 750 Megawatt-hours a Year proposed the theory that a black version of the Google search engine would save a fair bit of energy due to the popularity of the search engine. Since then there has been skepticism about the significance of the energy savings that can be achieved and the cost in terms of readability of black web pages."

of course, i'm wondering whether such would make a significant impact in saving energy given that most other webpages are full color anyhow, not to mention the fact that most desktop backgrounds are likewise bright and colorful. oh well. i'll just do my share. hope it makes a difference, no matter how small.

added bonus: the site is actually quite classy. :)

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Posted by arianne at 8:10 PM

N {about me}

first year law student.kid at heart.idealist.optimist (except about myself).hopeless romantic.daydream believer.dreamer.klutz(hehe).

N {thanks}

lay-out
{designer}
{font}


N {blogs i check out}

{AKBAYAN Rep. Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel}
{UP ALYANSA}
{spam}
{tricia}
{kristian}
{mica-rabbit}
{jeboy}
{emma}
{paolo}
{lia}
{ralph}
{cheska}
{mara}
{leo}
{marian}
{kevin}
{gwen}
{mark arthur}
{darwin}
{dianne}
{jam}
{cha}
{boom}
{salma}
{emil}


N {random}

"I don't care if I never grow up
Don't want to shrink in a suit
Don't want live just to suck someones bones dry
I'd rather die."
- Chris Trapper, Waiting Watching Wishing

adopt your own virtual pet!


N {archives}

September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
March 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007


N {comments}




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